Self Doubt & Pushing Through

On Friday, summer hit in Denton with a vengeance.  It was 95 degrees, but even worse than that, about 80% humidity.  You couldn't walk across the gym with breaking a sweat.

Then I did the scheduled CTM workout for the day.  It was called "Quattro".

According to coach, the intention was to build the engine.  And that was easy to tell by looking at the workout itself.

"Quattro" is:

4RFT
15 Assault Bike Calories
18 Wall ball shots (20# to a 10' target)
15 Kettlebell Swings (53#)
12 Burpees

This workout is way worse than it looks on paper (and it looks pretty bad). Luckily, I had a friend stay and do the workout with me so that I wouldn't have to do it alone.  Her being there definitely made me work a little harder.  Thanks Ally!

So I started the workout and the first round felt great!  I finished the first round in 4 minutes flat. What I didn't know then, was that I went out too fast and that this was about to HURT.

The following three rounds took me 6-6 1/2 minutes per round.  That is a big failure of pacing on my part.  Maybe if I took 5 minutes to do the first round, I could have maintained that pace throughout.

But my pace is not what I wanted to talk about today.  I really wanted to talk about what happened when I got on the Assault Bike at the beginning of the third round.

As I was deep in the pain cave, I had something happen to me that I have never had happen before.  I questioned whether or not I really wanted to keep doing this.  Not just whether or not I wanted to continue with the workout, because I knew I could keep going.

No, I was questioning whether or not I wanted to continue to train for my CrossFit Games goal, or if I wanted to just "throw my hands up" and declare that I was not fit enough to get there.

I know deep down that there are *years* of pain coming if I want to continue with my quest of making the Games in 2020.  But this workout hurt so bad that I was questioning whether or not that was a goal I was really willing to chase.

Well, I am still here.  And I finished "Quattro" in 21 minutes and 19 seconds.

I guess I am "pot committed" now.